My New Year's Resolution

The Wizard of ID

To make comic larger click it ;)

When U Black U Black.....

When I was born, I was BLACK ,

When I grew up, I was BLACK ,

When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK,

When I got cold, I was BLACK ,

When I was scared, I was BLACK ,

When I was sick, I was BLACK ,

And when I die, I'll still be BLACK .

When U Black U Black, BUT.......

NOW, you 'white' folks....

When you're born, you're PINK,

When you grow-up, you're WHITE ,

When you go in the sun, you get RED,

When you're cold, you turn BLUE,

When you're scared, you're YELLOW,

When you get sick, you're GREEN,

When you bruise, you turn PURPLE ,

And when you die, you look GRAY.



So who y'all callin'
COLORED folks?



This was written by a black gentleman in Texas...

Chocolate!!!

1. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

5. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

6. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

7. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

8. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

9. Money talks. Chocolate sings.

10. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

11.Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.

12. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.

That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A late Friday's Funny

GNO Christmas Concert photos....

Yeah yeah yeah you all knew they were coming...


GNOPICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Free BBQ Grills

For those of you (like me at the moment) who do not have a BBQ grill, I've just come across a great deal that you can't afford to miss out on -- there are stores all over the country where you can get a free Portable BBQ Grill! This is for real -- you too can get your very own free Portable BBQ Grill from any of the following fine establishments (if your local store isn't listed below, you may find that they do have the free Portable BBQ Grill available anyway, so be sure to check it out!):

A&P | Albertsons | Big Lots | Brookshire's | Costco | Food Lion | Fry's | K-mart | Kroger | Meijer | Publix | Quality Markets | Safeway | Sam's Club | Shurfine | Target | Tops | Vons | WalMart | Winco Foods | Winn-Dixie | and many others!

I especially like the higher shelf which is great for keeping the kids' hot dogs warm while you're finishing up the adults' burgers or steaks! Just make sure to get the plain metal grills, if you can find them ... the plastic-coated grills don't last as long, and they tend to make the food taste a bit odd!

GUNS!!!!!

Here is a few pictures of my new 9mm, holster and belt for the wheel gun, Malcolm's shotgun, and the gun safe full!

http://picasaweb.google.com/ryanpaulweaver/GUNS#

What happens inside your PC

Computer:Monitor, display this document, ok?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh no, here we go.
Computer: Printer, are you there?
Printer: No.
Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.
Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: OK look, you really need ...
Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You're not out of in...
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen...
Computer: Just do it !
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh no, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!
Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh no! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself......

Lion Sleeps Tonight...12 Days of Christmas done by the group Straight No Chaser

Clean Vs. Messy

I know that most, if not all, of you visitors to my blog out there have a immaculate bedrooms all the time, I, in fact, do not. Some times my room is sooo messy that it's hard for me to find my own bed in the usual mess of snowboarding equipment, gun stuff, school books, electronic stuff/computers, hunting stuff, dogs, dirty clothes, clean clothes, and shoes that my floor is often littered with. It so happened that one morning a few weeks ago mom came in and told me i had to clean my room before i ate breakfast. Well, with my favorite meal hanging on the line i decided that it might be worth it to clean my room. While cleaning my room i started finding items that i thought were lost. And that is when i started thinking...you know maybe a messy room is better than a clean one. Because if you loose something and your room is messy chances are it is in your room and all you have to do is start picking up a little and you'll find it. But if you had a clean room then when you lost something it's going to be harder to find because it's probably not in your room and it's somewhere else, either in the rest of the house or you left it at a store you were recently at or you left it at a friends house. So I deducted that having a messy room was more adventagous for me because then I could find lost items quicker.


I propose that everyone should leave their room messy so that we don't loose as many items!!!!

Winter Park Trip...

On Saturday Tyler, Rachel, Malcolm, Nathan, Peter, Benjamin, Benjamin's gf, Matthew, and I went up to Winter Park to have some fun snowboarding. The snow was nice and soft and the weather was good. The Verizon people from the Verizon commercials came up there for some reason...

http://picasaweb.google.com/ryanpaulweaver/12_06_08#

My new toy...

This replica firearm is the Uberti 1873 Cattleman Gunfighter in 45LC. It's a single action revolver which means that for every shot you have to cock the hammer back. The gun shoots wonderfully and is pretty accurate. I'll post some more pictures and maybe a video or two next time I go shooting. ;)

The Difinitive Test of True Love!

Take your wife and your dog and lock them in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open your trunk see which one is glad to see you...

Friday's Funny

zee next installment of za pic puzzle

Toilet in middle of public street is encased in glass and allows user to see outside Real or Fake?


For some reason after I kicked my computer the internet started working....but it sometimes doesn't connect....

Friday's Funny

Computers are the devil...

For some odd/dumb reason my computer won't connect to the internet...so thats the reason I'm not online all the time any more :P

As far as the last picture is concerned the description is fake, it's actually a set for an outdoor theater, but it is funnier the other way. Therefore, we will disregard the truth here.


Hopefully my computer will decide to turn from its wicked ways and get on the correct path so I can post more often :P

New photo + a good political joke!

(real) This photo was taken near the Georgia-South Carolina border. The alligator was between 12 and 14 feet long.




I was talking to a friend of mine's little girl, and she said
she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal
Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President
what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied, "I'd give houses to all the homeless people."

"Wow...what a worthy goal" I told her, "You don't have to wait
until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and
mow, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll
take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out,
and
you can give him the $50 to use toward a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds while her Mom glared
at
me, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't
the
homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the
$50?"

And I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." Her folks still
aren't talking to me.




Is this really a "Redneck Mansion"?

Wiffle Ball

River rafting down the Arkansas

Here is some photo's of our rafting trip with the Nahler's


Rocks and Trees and Rocks and Trees and WATER

Test ya's eye-bilities (cont.)

It's real! The incident happened on Highway 59 near Hurricane City, Utah on December 30, 2006.


Here is the next photo... An alligator swimming with deer in its mouth.

Test ya's eye-bilities!

Real or Fake? With people enjoying photoshopping pictures these days, I thought it would be fun to see if yall's can guess whether or not these are real or fake. :D

Truck almost falls into canyon?

Friday's Funny

Militia Day at the range

Pastor Olsen took a group of us out to a range in Fort Lupton to shoot his two black powder guns. The first one you see is an exact replica of what was used in the Revolutionary War (nicknamed the "Brown Bess"). The other one is a percussion cap Hawkins rifle, both of them are black powder and tons of fun to shoot! I compiled a short video of us shooting and some pictures of the fun evening!







Photographers:Ryan Weaver and Andrew Langemann
Videographers:Ryan Weaver and Andrew Langemann
Editor:Ryan Weaver

Good news orchestra pics

http://picasaweb.google.com/ryanpaulweaver/GoodNewsOrchestra4thOfJuly

Living in the Country by the Josts

The business of my life (school) I havn't been able to post but that will soon change, I will hopefully be posting something every day or so....so stay tuned!

Friday's Funny

Sleeping Jonny Boy

Jonathan is actually asleep in this picture...apparently there has been sighting of the boogy man around the house and Jonathan is protecting his family of stuffed animals...


Here is proof that it is his hand ;)

Sun Burns...

Here is Hombre the Red Pepper^^^^

Here is Bob the Tomato^^^^^

Hombre and Bob(aka Daniel and Marcus) got really burnt(the pictures don't do the shade of red justice), they went swimming at one of their friends pool for around 4 hours today and came home looking like a tomato and a red pepper

Motivation

Here are some quotes about work:

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
Robert Frost

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse
Dennis Miller

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Edgar Bergen

Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know when you’re finished.
Leslie Nielsen

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K Jerome

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you’re on the job.
Slappy White

Friday's Funny

Friday's Funny

Friday's Funny

Why you shouldn't snort coke

Here is the reason you shouldn't ever snort coke it has drastic affects on people!!!

DON'T SNORT COKE!!!!!

Friday's Funny

Engineers...

There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down.

“Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again”, says the mechanical engineer.

“Well”, says the chemical engineer, “it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system.”

“I thought it might be an grounding problem”, says the electrical engineer, “or maybe a faulty plug lead.”

They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: “Well, what do you think?”

“Ummm, perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?”

May Day Photo's

This is what the Storries lawn looked like at 2:30am...


No one will ever see enough may day photos so here are some that we took...
http://picasaweb.google.com/ryanpaulweaver/2008_05_01Mayday

Pictures from the Arvada Flour Mill

I didn't go, but Mom, Malcolm, Jonathan, Celeste, and Tiffany went to the Arvada Flour Mill...and here are some of the pictures they took.

CLICK ME!!!!

Making the world happy

The Gores and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one hundred-$1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy!"

Up Here

Friday's Funny on Sunday

Living History Day Photos

http://picasaweb.google.com/ryanpaulweaver/2008_04_25LivingHistoryDay

My Two New Instrements

This is my new Dobro. It's made by a company called Dean...the sound is a good clear twangy sort of sound, just how I like it :D...I bought a nut riser and then I tried to tune it again one of the pegs broke...it didn't break off it more like broke a gear or something so I'm going to go pick myself up a new one tomorrow!!
The gun I've had for about 2 months now but I finally got it all put together!!! The scope on top is a Super Sniper 10x42 with a 30mm tube...The scope is simply amazing it is very clear and has mil-dots in it!!! The bi-pod will hopefully help when I'm out hunting plus it makes it look cool!!!

Which Gamming System to buy

How to learn chinese in 2 minutes

Our athletes are preparing to travel to China. The State Department has prepared a small guide to help them communicate when they get there:

That's not right!: Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?: Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me ASAP: Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man: Dum Gai

Small Horse: Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?: Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table!: Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a face lift!: Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here.: Wai So Dim

I thought you were on a diet!: Wai Yu Mun Ching

This is a tow away zone.: No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for next week.: Wai Yu Kum Nao

Staying out of sight: Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning his automobile: Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive: Yu Stin Ki Pu

Friday's Funny

Friday's Funny...

Happy Global Aithiest Day!!!!

Let's not forget that today is Global Atheists Day.

"The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God." Psalms 14:1a

What you didn't know but wished you did...

The Power of Tradition

Does the statement, 'We've always done it like that' ring any bells? The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads. Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways (in the coal mines), and that's the gauge they used. Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a Specification/Procedure/Process and wonder 'What horse's rear came up with it?' you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends or the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' back ends.) Now, the twist to the story: When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. And the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's behind. And you thought being a horse's rear wasn't important? Ancient horse's rear's control almost everything.... and CURRENT Horse's behind's are controlling almost everything else!!

Easter Orchestra Pictures

http://picasaweb.google.com/ryanpaulweaver/Easter_Orchestra_08


This is a compilation of some blurry and clear pictures of the Concert...

Mods to G22

I know most of you wanted pics of the Orchestra but i don't feel like sorting through 139 odd pictures....ok so this is my G22 and I just put a TruGlo 30mm red dot and a sling on it...stay tuned for pictures of the Orchestra...

Our Easter....

The three airsoftiteers discussing future battle plans


Moments after Daniel was shot, Forest looks on innocently
"Those are going to be easy to find!"

"You mean the Easter bunny is dead?"
Isaac just after going off of a totally huge jump!!!!
The newly weds...David and Kristen
"Ryan, quit cheating and looking where I'm hiding the easter eggs and go eat some more..."
Some of them were bored enough to board...

Do ya feel lucky, PUNK?!?!?

The grape of terror!!!

Catching flies...

Moments before the pretzel gets caught, chewed, and then swallowed...

Everyone was kung-fu fighting...

The chip is not far from being munched...

"Ha Ha...i got your sister and you ain't gettin her back no how"

Nothing says easter like a good game of golf...


Hope yalls had a wonderful Easter...I know I did!