Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
When I grew up, I was BLACK ,
When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK,
When I got cold, I was BLACK ,
When I was scared, I was BLACK ,
When I was sick, I was BLACK ,
And when I die, I'll still be BLACK .
When U Black U Black, BUT.......
NOW, you 'white' folks....
When you're born, you're PINK,
When you grow-up, you're WHITE ,
When you go in the sun, you get RED,
When you're cold, you turn BLUE,
When you're scared, you're YELLOW,
When you get sick, you're GREEN,
When you bruise, you turn PURPLE ,
And when you die, you look GRAY.
So who y'all callin'
This was written by a black gentleman in Texas...
Monday, December 22, 2008
2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
5. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
6. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
7. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
8. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
9. Money talks. Chocolate sings.
10. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
11.Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.
12. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today.
That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
A&P | Albertsons | Big Lots | Brookshire's | Costco | Food Lion | Fry's | K-mart | Kroger | Meijer | Publix | Quality Markets | Safeway | Sam's Club | Shurfine | Target | Tops | Vons | WalMart | Winco Foods | Winn-Dixie | and many others!
I especially like the higher shelf which is great for keeping the kids' hot dogs warm while you're finishing up the adults' burgers or steaks! Just make sure to get the plain metal grills, if you can find them ... the plastic-coated grills don't last as long, and they tend to make the food taste a bit odd!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed control and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh no, here we go.
Computer: Printer, are you there?
Computer: Please, Printer. I know you're there.
Printer: NO! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: OK look, you really need ...
Mouse: Sir, he's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don't want to! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: NO! That's what you always say! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You're not out of in...
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen...
Computer: Just do it !
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: AHHH! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm, he'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh no, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you've done?!
Printer: HA! that's what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he...hey...HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh no! He's torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself......
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
I propose that everyone should leave their room messy so that we don't loose as many items!!!!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
This replica firearm is the Uberti 1873 Cattleman Gunfighter in 45LC. It's a single action revolver which means that for every shot you have to cock the hammer back. The gun shoots wonderfully and is pretty accurate. I'll post some more pictures and maybe a video or two next time I go shooting. ;)
Friday, November 14, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
For some reason after I kicked my computer the internet started working....but it sometimes doesn't connect....
Thursday, August 14, 2008
As far as the last picture is concerned the description is fake, it's actually a set for an outdoor theater, but it is funnier the other way. Therefore, we will disregard the truth here.
Hopefully my computer will decide to turn from its wicked ways and get on the correct path so I can post more often :P
Thursday, August 7, 2008
I was talking to a friend of mine's little girl, and she said
she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal
Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President
what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give houses to all the homeless people."
"Wow...what a worthy goal" I told her, "You don't have to wait
until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and
mow, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll
take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out,
you can give him the $50 to use toward a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds while her Mom glared
me, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't
homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the
And I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." Her folks still
aren't talking to me.
Is this really a "Redneck Mansion"?
Monday, August 4, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Photographers:Ryan Weaver and Andrew Langemann
Videographers:Ryan Weaver and Andrew Langemann
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Jonathan is actually asleep in this picture...apparently there has been sighting of the boogy man around the house and Jonathan is protecting his family of stuffed animals...
Here is proof that it is his hand ;)
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Here is Bob the Tomato^^^^^
Hombre and Bob(aka Daniel and Marcus) got really burnt(the pictures don't do the shade of red justice), they went swimming at one of their friends pool for around 4 hours today and came home looking like a tomato and a red pepper
Friday, June 6, 2008
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Jerome K Jerome
The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you’re on the job.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
There are four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer and a computer engineer. The car breaks down.
“Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We’ll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again”, says the mechanical engineer.
“Well”, says the chemical engineer, “it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system.”
“I thought it might be an grounding problem”, says the electrical engineer, “or maybe a faulty plug lead.”
They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: “Well, what do you think?”
“Ummm, perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?”
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."
Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one hundred-$1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy!"
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
The gun I've had for about 2 months now but I finally got it all put together!!! The scope on top is a Super Sniper 10x42 with a 30mm tube...The scope is simply amazing it is very clear and has mil-dots in it!!! The bi-pod will hopefully help when I'm out hunting plus it makes it look cool!!!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
That's not right!: Sum Ting Wong
Are you harboring a fugitive?: Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me ASAP: Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man: Dum Gai
Small Horse: Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach?: Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped into a coffee table!: Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a face lift!: Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here.: Wai So Dim
I thought you were on a diet!: Wai Yu Mun Ching
This is a tow away zone.: No Pah King
Our meeting is scheduled for next week.: Wai Yu Kum Nao
Staying out of sight: Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile: Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive: Yu Stin Ki Pu
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Does the statement, 'We've always done it like that' ring any bells? The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads. Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways (in the coal mines), and that's the gauge they used. Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a Specification/Procedure/Process and wonder 'What horse's rear came up with it?' you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends or the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' back ends.) Now, the twist to the story: When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. And the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's behind. And you thought being a horse's rear wasn't important? Ancient horse's rear's control almost everything.... and CURRENT Horse's behind's are controlling almost everything else!!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
I know most of you wanted pics of the Orchestra but i don't feel like sorting through 139 odd pictures....ok so this is my G22 and I just put a TruGlo 30mm red dot and a sling on it...stay tuned for pictures of the Orchestra...
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Moments after Daniel was shot, Forest looks on innocently
"Those are going to be easy to find!"
"You mean the Easter bunny is dead?"
Isaac just after going off of a totally huge jump!!!!
The newly weds...David and Kristen
"Ryan, quit cheating and looking where I'm hiding the easter eggs and go eat some more..."
Some of them were bored enough to board...
Do ya feel lucky, PUNK?!?!?
The grape of terror!!!
Moments before the pretzel gets caught, chewed, and then swallowed...
Everyone was kung-fu fighting...
The chip is not far from being munched...
"Ha Ha...i got your sister and you ain't gettin her back no how"
Nothing says easter like a good game of golf...
Hope yalls had a wonderful Easter...I know I did!