Wednesday, October 10, 2007

photo's of hunting....

I have some graphic pictures of us gutting Tyler's deer that he shot. If you want them just chat me and you'll have um ;)

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Rather cruel yet amusing things...

1) Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

2) Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

3) If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

4) Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

5) Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6) Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

7) Practice making fax and modem noises.

8) Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

9) Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

10) Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

11) Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

12) Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

13) Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

14) Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

15) Staple pages in the middle of the page.

16) Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

17) Honk and wave to strangers.

18) Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.


20) type only in lowercase.

21) dont use any punctuation either

22)Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

23) Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"Never mind, it's gone now."

24) As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

25) Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin.
When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

26) Ask people what gender they are.

27) While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

28) Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

29) Sing along at the opera.

30) Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

31) Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Rudy Guiliani's Push To Save America

An inspiring story...

...for anyone who has broken any bone...

A brick layer working on a three-story tall chimney had set up a pulley system so that his helper could raise the bricks up to where he needed them. As he was working, his helper was complaining about how difficult it would be to get the last of the bricks up to the flat roof of the building. Just then another contractor had some material delivered and it was placed on the roof by a fork-lift brought to unload it. The brick layer asked if the driver would load his brick up there as well and the driver agreed. The brick layer realized that he would not need his helper any more and sent him home.

As the brick-layer completed the chimney he noticed that he had quite a few bricks left over and that the fork-lift was no longer at the jobsite. Now he had to figure out how to get the left-over bricks back down by himself. If he dropped them, they would surely break. So he decided to use the pulley that he had set up to lower them down.

First he went down to the ground and raised a large metal bucket up to the roof level using the rope and pulley. Next, he tied the rope off onto a railing and climbed back up to the roof and loaded the bricks into the bucket. Then he went back down to the ground. He knew that the bricks would be heavy, so he wrapped the rope around his hand a couple of times and then untied the end of the rope with his other hand. Well, the bricks were heavier than he imagined and with physics being as it is, he was immediately launched upwards at a high rate of speed.

As he was racing up towards the roof he encountered the bucket full of bricks coming down at an equally fast rate. He collided with the bucket and broke his nose and his shoulder. The bucket passed him by as he sped upwards. He reached the pulley just before the bucket hit the ground and broke a few of his fingers as they were pulled into the pulley. When the bucket hit the ground, it's bottom fell out and all of the bricks spilled onto the ground. Now the fun reversed. As the now light bucket sped upwards, the mason took a shot to the groin when one of his legs slipped into the empty bucket.

He then tilted enough to fall out of the bucket and continued with his gravity experiment. Eventually he landed on top of the pile of bricks and broke both feet. He collapsed in pain there on the bricks, but was glad to be alive. He let go off the rope and cried out for help. It was then that the bucket hit him in the head and fractured his skull.