Happy Valentines Day Redneck Style

I know I'm a day late but this is still really funny....its a little squishy but really funny


Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky to have
a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like corn silk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're out in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
What I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape,
yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
We go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men,
they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger.
That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, swayvay and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!