Bumper Stickers 4

Ok this is the last part enjoy...

Maybe the Hokey-Pokey is what its all about.

I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.

Humpty Dumpty was pushed.

Fleece on earth,good wool to ewe.

Nonconformists are all alike.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

All generalizations are false.

Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE!!

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile.

You will be Assimilated.

Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!!!

Stop continental drift!

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Subvert the dominant paradigm.

Let's Put the Fun Back in Funeral!

This is a bumper sticker.

I hate bumper stickers!!!

Bumper Stickers 3

Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people are crazy. Check 3 friends, if they are O.K. you're it.

Some days it just isn't worth chewing through the straps.

I do everything my rice crispies tell me to.

I'm not a brat! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!

I break for fairies, elves, gnomes, leprechauns, & other invisible creatures that only I can see.

Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most.

5 out of 4 people lave a problem with fractions.

Must not sleep... the clowns will eat me.

Archeologists will date any old things!

We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.

My job is so secret, even I don't know what it is.

Eschew obfuscation!

Bumper Stickers 2

Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.

Stop reading my bumper stickers & pay attention to the road.

I souport publik edekashun.

Huked on foniks werked fer me!

Ate yeers agoe, I coodent eben spel teecher, now I is wun!

They can send me to college but they can't make me think.

My child is an honor student at Screeching Weasel High School.

I love animals, they're delicious!

I'm pro choice: I choose to hunt, trap, eat, and wear fur.

Save The Giant Flying Vampire Toads!

Bright red meat is good for you. Fuzzy green meat is not good for you.

Support the right to arm bears!

If there is a tourist season why can't we shoot them?

Shut up voices, or I'll poke you with a Q-tip!!

Part 3 in a couple of days

Bumper Stickers 1

This will be the first of 4 or so installments of some of my favorite bumper stickers!!!!!

Just when you think you've won the rat race, along comes a faster rat.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy & good with ketchup.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

One by one the penguins are stealing my sanity.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat.

Designed by computer, built by robot, driven by moron.

Car will explode upon impact.

If this car were a horse, I'd have to shoot it.

This is not an abandoned vehicle.

Do Not Wash - this vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test.

You have to be really secure to be seen in this car like this.

Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?

Forget about world peace... visualize using your turn signal.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming & yelling like the passengers in his car.

Part two will follow in a couple of days.

Jokes....

Starting now on....I'm going to try and post a joke(be it political or something that makes me laugh) every couple days or so.....enjoy as i will be doing :)

Atm...(Its just a joke ladies)

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE (It's just a JOKE ladies)

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts."

"After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

**********************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

How to start each day with a positive outlook

1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton"

3. Send it to the trash.

4. Empty the trash.

5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get
rid of "Hillary Rodham Clinton?"

6. Firmly Click "Yes."

7. Feel better.

PS: Next week we'll do Nancy Pelosi

May Day

Some long haired people came to our door and dropped off some stuff, they looked familiar for some reason.